Stay on the Line

An Emergency Call Centre worker in London 

Has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment.

It seems a male caller dialled 999 from a mobile phone stating,

"I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah."

Apparently

"Please remain calm and stay on the line"


Was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response!!!???

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Smart Question 01

There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he  wears size 13 sneakers

...What  does he weigh?

Its Simple A & R

Its Simple

   Let me say it plainly 

             To Understand

Problem solving (score "F")

Instructors remarks : could try a less aggressive approach to these types of challenges

WAITRESS HANDED HER OWN STOLEN ID

The Small Details Count

Our coveted Stupidest Criminal of the Week Award goes to a Colorado woman, who tried to use a stolen ID on the woman to whom the ID belonged. Brianna Priddy, an Applebee's waitress, was delighted to discover the little brat who had ruined her week sitting right in her section.

The criminal apparently couldn't be bothered to look at the photo on the fake she was using long enough to realize it was the woman she was ordering from.

Nor was Brianna's "Brianna" nametag a giveaway.

In a confusing twist, the woman using the fake was actually 26—old enough to buy a drink with her own ID.

We're happy for the waitress, but we do find it sad that anyone would go to all the trouble of stealing a wallet only to buy an Applebee's Bahama Mama cocktail.

Go figure... Woman using the fake was actually 26

GETAWAY FOILS ROBBERY

Forgot the Silencer!

Getaway cars are just for the movies. Real criminals use getaway donkeys.

A trio of Columbian robbers in the exotic sounding town Juan de Acosta loaded stolen rum, rice, tuna and sardines onto Xavi, a 10-year-old donkey.

It was all going to plan, but then the donkey starting "heehawing". Loudly. The racket alerted police to the robbery and the burglars ran.

Quick, gun it!

SLOW REASONING

Exit Stage Right!!

Levi Detweiler, a 17-year-old Amish youth, ran a stop sign in his "horse and buggy". We believe it was the latest model.

Young Levi then led police on a mile-long, low speed chase before taking a turn too sharply and tipping the carriage on its side.

Hollywood could probably make a movie out of the incident, called The Slow and The Furious.

Yes, we know what you're thinking. With a terrible joke like that, "who's the real criminal here?"
Anyway, Levi was charged with "over-driving an animal", among other offences.

Serves him right. What a hoon.

Levi Detweiler, the Amish speedracer.

SIR, DROP THE BANANA

They Don't fall far from the tree!!

John Szwalla, a 17-year-old idiot from the US state of North Carolina, entered an internet cafe and demanded money, claiming he had a gun hidden under his shirt.

The "gun" was actually a banana. The cafe's owner, along with a customer, restrained John and called the police.

John ate the banana while he waited for the cops to arrive. Apparently the police joked about charging the kid with "destroying evidence".

Your banana’s a gun? That’s nice. My banana’s Jesus Christ.

MARKS OFF

10 Points for trying

Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly concocted an ingenious disguise before trying to break into an apartment.

Well, we use the term "ingenious" very loosely.

Matthew and Joey spurned more traditional disguises like masks or balaclavas, instead choosing to draw on their own faces with permanent markers.

Here's the thing about permanent marker. It's extremely difficult to erase. So when the pair was pulled over by police after the bungled break-in, they were easily recognisable.

The stunt earned Joey and Matthew the nickname "dumb and dumber".

Permanent Marker Masks

SLIGHTLY ARMED 'BATTERY'

One Small Point Overlooked 

The term "outgunned" doesn't quite do this story justice.

Derrick Mosley strolled into a discount gun store with a baseball bat, smashed a glass display case and tried to steal a firearm. Yes, he tried to rob a gun shop with a baseball bat.

What happened next?

The manager pulled out a gun of his own, pointed it at Derrick and kept him in the cross-hairs until the police arrived.

Don't be too hard on yourself Derrick.

Guns in a gun store? Nobody could have anticipated that.

Derrick Mosley tried to rob a gun shop with a baseball bat.

POLICE ARE NOT NOCTURNAL

They Aren't ?

James Blankenship's first mistake was to try to break into his own mother's house. Young James had a go at climbing through the first floor window, then bolted when he was caught.

It didn't help that he conducted the botched raid in broad daylight, but let's set that aside for a moment, because this story gets much dumber. When police found James hiding in a crawl space near the scene and arrested him, the young man was stunned.

James thought he couldn't be arrested for burglary because it wasn't night-time.

James Blankenship didn't think he could be arrested for burglary during the day.

COMEBACK LATER

Mario and Domingo's

Patience didn't pay for a pair of wanna-be robbers who agreed to a restaurant owner’s request that they come back later to complete their robbery. Mario Garcia and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez walked into the Clifton Grill in Chicago and threatened to shoot the owner unless he handed over all his cash.

The quick thinking owner, who didn't believe they were packing heat in the first place, told them he’d love to help but unfortunately they’d busted in during a rush and he was just too busy. But if they wanted to, they could come back in an hour when things were slower and he’d have their takeout order of cash ready.

An hour later when the two men returned (!!!), police officers were lying in wait and arrested them. And it turned out the restaurant owner’s assumption was correct; the dynamic duo were packing water guns instead of real ones.

Result: They were charged with attempted robbery and possession of a replica firearm.

The may look threatening, but they're actually an idiots.